From our Foreign Correspondent: What language do they speak in Scotland?

This is the third in our regular series of dispatches from the USDemocrazy overseas correspondent:

Recently, I’ve been getting really homesick for the good ol’ USDemocrazy staff meetings… Dozing off, not making sense of anything anyone said… Luckily, I get a pretty healthy does of not understanding people right here in Scotland!

Before I left for my overseas adventure, I was asked if Scottish people speak English. I scoffed, “Of course they do!” Little did I know, there’s quite a difference between American English, English English, and Scottish English…

The most notorious of the Scottish accents is from Glasgow, Scotland’s largest city.

In fact, yesterday the BBC reported that translators are needed to interpret the Glaswegian (from Glasgow) dialect for visitors. They even kindly included a small glossary of Glaswegian slang. (My favorite: “Hee haw,” which allegedly means “nothing.”)

Sure, you knew about Gaelic, now you know about the Glaswegian dialect, but have you heard of Scots?

Experts are fighting over whether to call Scots a language or a dialect… But either way, you need training to understand it. Take the greeting from the official Scots website:

Howp ye enjoy whit we hae tae offer…

You get the general idea. If you’re interested in reading some Scots poetry, Robert Burns‘  “To A Louse” is  the best place to start. I defy you to do it without consulting the Scots glossary! A small sample to get you started:

Ha! whaur ye gaun, ye crowlin ferlie?
Your impudence protects you sairly;
I canna say but ye strunt rarely,
Owre gauze and lace;
Tho’, faith! I fear ye dine but sparely
On sic a place.

So, if someone ever asks you, “What language do they speak in Scotland?” the best you can do is shake your head and shrug…